If you ever needed proof that Speaker Mike Johnson is in way over his head, look no further than his latest self-pity tour disguised as a podcast interview. Instead of explaining why Congress is on track to set a modern record for doing absolutely nothing, Johnson decided to treat the American public to a melodramatic monologue about how hard his job is… and how he just wants a vacation.

Cue the violins. 🎻

Or better yet — cue the laughter.

Because in case anyone forgot, Mike Johnson is not a barista working double shifts. He’s not a nurse on a 16-hour night rotation. He’s not a teacher fighting for basic supplies.

He is the Speaker of the House of Representatives — the man with the gavel, the power, the responsibility… and apparently the thinnest skin in Washington.

🇺🇸 THE MOST USELESS CONGRESS IN DECADES — AND HE’S COMPLAINING ABOUT VACATION DAYS

Under Johnson’s “leadership,” the House has logged only 87 voting days, putting this Congress on track to become the second least productive session in modern history, beaten only by 2021 — the year a global pandemic shut the world down.

This time, there’s no pandemic.

No shutdown.

No excuse.

Just chaos, dysfunction, tantrums, and a Speaker who seems shocked that the job he begged for… actually requires effort.

💸 THE ONE THING THEY DID MANAGE TO PASS? A TAX GIVEAWAY FOR THE RICH.

If you look for legislative accomplishments from Johnson’s House, you’ll find exactly one: a giant, glittering Christmas present for billionaires and giant corporations.

Their tax package:

• Guts social services

• Shuts down rural hospitals

• Raises healthcare prices for Medicare enrollees

• Cuts food assistance — including for homeless veterans

• Adds billions to the deficit

But don’t worry.

According to Johnson, the real tragedy in Washington is that he hasn’t had time to sip a margarita on a beach somewhere.

😭 “I HAVEN’T BEEN OFF IN TWO YEARS!” — THE WORLD’S SADDEST COMPLAINT

Here is what he actually said, to Stephen Miller’s wife on her podcast:

“I haven’t had a vacation day in two years. I haven’t been off in two years, literally. Last Christmas, I was taking calls from members with their drama. It takes everything out of whomever serves in the position — and by extension, their family.”

The irony?

It’s the drama inside his own caucus that keeps blowing up his schedule.

Maybe if he could control his members — instead of letting them light fires every other week — he wouldn’t be drowning in chaos.

Washington has had Speakers who navigated wars, recessions, impeachments, and national crises.

Not one of them went on a public pity parade whining about needing PTO.

💥 A “LEADER” WHO BLAMES EVERYONE BUT HIMSELF

Johnson loves portraying himself as the tragic hero trapped between two extremes — the far-right who wants to burn the government down and the moderates who are exhausted by the endless dysfunction.

But here’s the truth:

• He’s not a hostage.

• He’s not a martyr.

• He’s not a victim.

He is the leader — and he simply cannot lead.

Every crisis Johnson complains about is one he helped create:

• He refuses bipartisan solutions.

• He caves to the most unhinged members of his caucus.

• He delays votes until the last second.

• He panics every time Trump posts something on social media.

And yes — those “calls with drama” he cries about?

That drama is the direct result of Johnson’s own weakness.

🧩 THE TRUMP FACTOR: JOHNSON’S REAL BOSS

Johnson also let slip what everyone already knows: his job is not running the House — it’s avoiding Donald Trump’s wrath.

Every major decision Johnson makes has to be filtered through the question:

“Will this make Trump mad?”

He admitted openly that Trump’s “constant crises” drain him.

Translation: being Speaker is hard because Trump is harder.

Johnson isn’t leading Congress.

He’s babysitting a political cult.

No wonder he’s tired.

😴 AMERICA IS TIRED TOO — OF EXCUSES

It’s infuriating to hear the Speaker whine about how exhausting his position is when millions of Americans work harder, longer, and with far greater consequence for a fraction of his salary.

Americans don’t want to hear that Mike Johnson needs a vacation.

Americans want:

• Lower healthcare costs

• Functioning hospitals

• A Congress that can pass a budget

• A Speaker who shows up, does the job, and stops whining

No one forced Mike Johnson to take the gavel.

He fought for it.

He campaigned for it.

He celebrated when he got it.

Now he wants sympathy because it isn’t as easy as he imagined?

Give. Us. A. Break.

🧨 THE BOTTOM LINE

Mike Johnson isn’t overwhelmed because the job is too big.

He’s overwhelmed because he’s too small for the job.

And the more he complains, the clearer that becomes — not just to Democrats, not just to independents, but to an increasing number of Republicans who are tired of the chaos.

The Speaker says he needs a vacation.